While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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