I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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