Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
