I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize