Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
