and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
