I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
