thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
