Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
