I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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