Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
