but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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