Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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