i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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