I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
