Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
