I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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