btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
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btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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