I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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