And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
be right there i have to get my cape
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
