this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
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I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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