R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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