hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
