Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
