Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers

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(212): View more from New York

your tears are not going to buy me drinks...

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(817): View more from Texas

New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.

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(631): View more from New York

stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied

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(217): View more from Illinois

The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.

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(630): View more from Illinois

There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle

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(630): View more from Illinois

I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.

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