Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize