'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
