the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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