I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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