Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
