Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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