Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
