have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
