why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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