he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
