When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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