You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i think i have two assholes
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
