Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
