South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
