$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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