they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
