We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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