You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
