Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
