No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize