My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
