I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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