Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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