nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
