im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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