doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
