just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
