Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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