u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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