it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
