eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
