The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
