Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
