We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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