Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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