"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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