we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
