she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
