I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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