Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
