I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize