Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Still dying that you shit outside
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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